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What are the best Jewish jokes?

14.06.2025 06:30

What are the best Jewish jokes?

I’m not sure if this one qualifies but I’ll tell it anyway.

So a priests starts the confession and the man in the booth says “Father, I wanted to tell you, I’m 65 years old and last night, at the bar, I met two beautiful young 21 year old college girls. We talked a bit, drank a bit and one thing led to another and we ended up back at my place where the three of us stayed up all night drinking and having wild, uninhibited sex. “

So the priest says:” Well if you’re not Catholic, why are you in here telling me all this?”

Everyone says the pet population is out of control. Everyone says you MUST spay or neuter your pets. No one wants to talk about how its almost $1,000 to spay or neuter a pet. Why is it so expensive if its so necessary? Animal shelters do it for free.

And the priest thinks for a minute and then says:”Hmm, this is very serious my son, and there are a number of grave sins involved, so I’m not quite sure where to start. But let’s go with the basics: How long has it been since your last confession?”

the man replies: “Oh, I’ve never been to confession, I’m actually Jewish.”

And the man says : “Are you kidding me? I’m telling everyone.”

Do you think President-Elect Donald Trump won the presidency fair and square, or do you think the GOP resorted to blatant unlawful practices to tilt the election?